tommy says:

apparently dead already he was not. yet?

marvin says:

they “said” he killed 18 people.It’s always better to kill the defendant before you go to trial.

Leland says:

Sounds like a waste of ammunition to me.

Andrew says:

He could have been a vampire.

Leland says:

Is it routine to issue silver bullets in Roanoke? Oh wait, that’s Werewolves…

Oh! Oh! I got it! They shot the dead man 18 times with the new fully automatic stake launcher. :D

tommy says:

what’s a “fully automatic stake?”

Leland says:

Faster then a semi-automatic stake.

Andrew says:

Alls I know is that if I was a vampire, I’d have a steel plate over my heart at all times. I never got why they didn’t do that.

FYI, the shooting wasn’t in Roanoke. It was in the briefs section of the paper.

tommy says:

so they shot someone in the paper? or was it in the briefs section? why was this alleged (and already dead) criminal in the briefs section of the paper?

Leland says:

Tommy Wrote, “so they shot someone in the paper?”

No, no, no… They shot him in the heart with the fully automatic stake gun.

tommy says:

in the heart of what? jebus this is confuzzelating.

Andrew says:

This is worse than when we ran that story about low-cost hit man Arthur Jones being arrested for strangling those folks at Kroger: “Artie chokes three for a dollar at grocery store.”

Leland says:

Deep in the heart of his evil, retched, decaying soul. The place that all vampires keep their life force. The one protected place that can only be violated with mother nature’s own wood. A piece of wood (none of that recycled plastic deck making stuff) carved into the shape of a stake will at once and forever separate the vampire from the dark forces that keep him alive.

Only then may the good God fearing citizens of our community once again rest safe in our beds at night.

Andrew says:

> Only then may the good God fearing citizens
> of our community once again rest safe…

What if you worship a bad god? What if you worship a good god but aren’t afraid of him? What about the atheists — do vampires like them better for some reason?

Leland says:

I specified “good God fearing.” The rest may not see it so cut and dried.

tommy says:

so can a vampire who is wearing a steel plate get on an airplane or would the metal detector be set off by that? what about a wooden stake (i would like to take one with me in case i encounter a vampire on a plane)?

stakes on a plane?

that’s taking it too far - i’ll stop now.

(sorry if this was a duplicate post…)

lionemom says:

In every generation, there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons, and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. (cue intro music by Nerf Herder)

lionemom says:

POLICE shoot dead man wanted in 18 killings
Police SHOOT dead man wanted in 18 killings
Police shoot DEAD man wanted in 18 killings
Police shoot dead MAN wanted in 18 killings
Police shoot dead man WANTED in 18 killings
Police shoot dead man wanted IN EIGHTEEN killings
Police shoot dead man wanted in 18 KILLINGS

Eh, used to work for me….

gnomic says:

be sure forward it to Leno - editors this bad should have thier nose rubbed in it.

marvin says:

tommy says:
so can a vampire who is wearing a steel plate get on an airplane or would the metal detector be set off by that? what about a wooden stake (i would like to take one with me in case i encounter a vampire on a plane)?

Where are your brains??? Don’t you know that they can turn into bats and fly on thier own? They don’t have to spend all that time at an airport being hasseled just to go somewhere.

tommy says:

hello? once the plane is in flight it means like 200+ captive victims!