Fun with logic

I’ve been away for a few days — Dad had a heart attack, but is OK now — so it’s back to this stuff.

Today, the Logic Police once again make the rounds.

We’ll start with an article/column in the Chicago Sun-Times about how police there are apparently not enforcing the city’s ban on hands-free cell phone use while driving.

The writer, Monifa Thomas, talks about how she had a hands-free device for her phone but lost it “and never bothered to replace it.”

Translation: I’m Monifa Thomas, and I’m happy to tell you how I break the law and put other drivers at risk. Ha ha! Aren’t I cute?”

And then there’s the person she interviewed for the story, one Ernestine Funches, who said she thinks police should be enforcing the ban:

“I think they should,” Funches added, “because I know how distracted I get when I’m on the phone.”

Translation: “When I’m behind the wheel, I am not in control of my own actions! Stop me before I hurt myself!”

I hope everyone in Chicago clips the article. Then, if they’re ever in an accident involving either Ms. Thomas or Ms. Funches, they can produce it for the lawsuit.