backlisten » Blog Archive » Reason #1735 we’re not sending Sam to public school says:

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Gnomic says:

What? They aren’t persecuting, er, prosecuting him? Without a jail term, how will the system ruin this kid’s life? Doesn’t a butter knife warrent felony prosecution as an adult for attempted murder?

Steve says:

Given the intellectual aptitude of this decision, I’m surprised none of the staff stabbed themselves in the face with the knife while handling it.

Also, the following common objects are sharper than butter knife: a pen, pencil, ruler, fine art paint brush, key, toothbrush, earrings, and the tacks that post the many, many other dumb rules on school boards in the hall.

So we should ban them all, and make all tests oral, ban writing, ban linear measurement, enforce biometric entrance only, and require that nobody brush or floss on-campus. Can’t have anybody getting garroted.

Pretty soon the only thing they’ll know how to do is have pre-marital sex!

planetsq » Blog Archive » Reason #1735 we’re not sending Sam to public school says:

[...] more here This entry was posted on Sunday, October 21st, 2007 at 4:52 pm and is filed under public school. [...]

planetsq » Blog Archive » Reason #1735 we’re not sending Sam to public school says:

[...] more here This entry was posted on Sunday, October 21st, 2007 at 4:52 pm and is filed under public school. [...]

Randy says:

Ah yes - the danger of the butter knife. My mother-in-law was flying from Memphis (our home) back to DC (her home) and had some pieces of her wedding silver with her. Since she wasn’t checking any baggage, she wisely asked about taking her butter knives on the flight. Naturally, she was refused. On the other hand, she was allowed to carry the two pencils she had brought for doing crossword puzzles.

For the record, if any of you ever want to attack me in the future, I’d prefer you try to stab me with a butter knife and not a sharpened pencil.

Steve says:

Well obviously they need to ban pencils.
You never know when a beautiful crazy superhuman assassin might come in and kill everybody with pencils…

http://www.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=020623

And if you have about 60 hours to waste, put down the CSI DVD pack and read Sluggy Freelance instead.

greyrat says:

When we did West Side Story in 1977 at my high school the actors, at the adult directors recommendation, did the knife fight scene with butter knives. From the audience, it was very dramatic and realistic. There was of course no real risk to the actors. What the hell do they do nowadays? Just swing their empty hands around? Or is that too dangerous?

Andrew says:

That’s easy, grayrat: they don’t do violence. They yell at each other.

I should note what one of the school administrators did: It wasn’t an ordinary butter knife. It had a serrated edge. Oooooooh.

bumrocky says:

Hey Andrew! I live in “The Creek” as it’s sometimes called. The school board reversed the principal’s decision (so at least there’s SOME brains in our schools here!) but she still has to submit to random book bag and locker searches. I still think that’s over the top, but….you know. Our schools here are so mired in politics and bureaucracy (sorry about the spelling…attributed to our 49th in the nation’s public skoools.) that we’re more focused on what Jimmy’s wearing instead of what Jimmy’s not learning. I hate this place.