Richard says:

Actually, I have a friend who tried to get through security with fingernail clippers. The TSA cretin broke off the file part and let the rest of the instrument thorough. Given that what is allowed onto an airplane is largely at the discretion of a TSA pervert whose last security job most likely involved sleeping in an alley with his arm draped over a shopping cart, I wouldn’t hold out much hope for the development of a TSA-approved pseudo-/quasi-pocketknife.

The danger of a clutch of terrorists commandeering an airliner, in fact, ended on Sept. 12, 2001, when all airline and potential airline passengers in the world learned of the 9/11 scenario and therefore would not allow it to occur again, and when cockpit doors were secured. Since then, we Americans have been consenting victims of a self-serving, nest-feathering fascist security bureaucracy that has burned billions of dollars for no good reason, and usurped most of our Fourth Amendment protection against unwarranted search and seizure in the process. Yet Americans meekly put up with it (although not too long ago there was discussion on this blog about how to avoid flying).

TSA security guidelines are also driven by the agenda of the Clear registered-traveler program (http://www.flyclear.com/), which will sell you an express pass through security at a number of U.S. airports. “[First] year price is $100 plus the TSA vetting fee of $28 for a total charge of $128,” the Web site says. Front man for the operation is a former TSA muckety-muck. So ask yourself whether TSA search procedures and carry-on restrictions will ever be relaxed (i.e., brought into line with reality) when there’s money to be made selling express security passes.

While we’re on the subject of security theater, let’s talk about Jack Bauer science. In order to fabricate a “liquid bomb” in a airplane bathroom, you’d have to be able to (among other impossibilities) smuggle liquid nitrogen onto the plane and mix the stuff in such a way that there was not a premature, non-explosive reaction. Also, we need to ask ourselves why all confiscated liquids at airports are tossed into a common trash drum. Wouldn’t there be the possibility of explosion? And what is the security threat posed by metal shanks in shoes?

If other Americans are willing to give up their right to privacy and watch the U.S. economy collapse under the weight of this fatuousness in order to be protected from the boogey man, so be it as long as they left me out of it. Unfortunately, they can’t.

There, Andrew. You’ve caused me to off on a rant.

greyrat says:

“Funny: true story: I was going from secure zone to secure zone in Frankfurt, Germany and had to send my carry on bag through an x-ray machine. The security guards stopped me and politely asked me to show them the scissors I had in my bag. I had managed to inadvertently pack my beard trimming scissors (2 inches long and pointy) in my ditty bag and get them through security at my original boarding point (that’s another story). I opened my bag — something TSA would never allow — pulled out my ditty bag and pulled out the scissors — something else TSA would never allow — and made to hand them to the guards, handles first of course. They looked at each other mildly surprised and then said “No, no. We just needed to see. Danke.” And that was that. Until I got to the US and a vinyl gloved TSA agent opened my bag like it was a thermonuclear device and carefully removed the scissors with just his index finger and thumb… And threw them in the trash.

Welcome to America, citizen. May I see your papers?

Andrew says:

I believe the phrase is “Ihre papiere, bitte.” [sigh]

greyrat says:

No no no. The German security guards were polite, deferential, even apologetic. It was more like “Please excuse us for the silly formality, but do you happen to have a scissors in your bag?” And they never even asked for my airline tickets, much less my passport. It’s definitely “May I see your papers?” in English, and in America, nowadays.

Andrew says:

Oh, I assumed they were polite. I was talking about the Americans.

Randy says:

Richard pretty much covers everything I would have said. My mother-in-law had to leave a silver $100 butter knife with me once when she traveled, as she didn’t want it in her checked bag and security wouldn’t let her take it on the plane (never mind her 2 pencils for doing crosswords and a pen for writing letters are far, far, far more dangerous as weapons). I’ve written a few times about how bad things are on my Blahg.

I personally have had to remove shoes, and even sandals one time while flying, even though they didn’t set off the metal detectors. So these airport-safe shoes are nothing but a meaningless marketing gimmick. But as many others have noted - if there is money to be made, someone will make it, and “security” isn’t going to change while they are.

Richard says:

Thanks for the support, Randy. Unfortunately, there aren’t that many of us who can grasp the obvious.

It has been six years (count ’em) since the terrorist attacks of 9/11. A rational person would expect that security measures would now be based on the diminishing likelihood and ability of terrorists to perpetrate another such attack, and not just on the fear of its consequences. (It’s called “cost-benefit analysis,” as explained in the book Overblown by John Mueller.)

For starters, how about replacing the no-fly list with a “won’t-fly” list of folks like us to give airlines the financial incentive to curtail this nonsense.

And the next time someone uses the phrase “The world changed on Sept. 11, 2001” as an excuse for meekly accepting the pat-downs, illegal wiretapping, suspension of habeas corpus and other unconstitutional measures that are being used to keep us frightened and subservient, just slap him.