I’m not sure what’s more disturbing. The fact that someone, somewhere, thought that a tapestry (!) showing David Tyree’s Super Bowl catch would be a good idea, or the fact that it’s backordered until May 10.

The Dave Matthews Band™ just sent me a deck of cards and a short CD. Go figure.

Miranda says peppermint oil will solve my ant problem. We shall see — if I can find it.

Isn’t it amazing how Ben Stein went from a symbol of intelligence to one of utter stupidity?

Test post from Post2Blog.

Just seeing if this works at all. :)

I’ve said it over and over — ethanol is bad. It’s a lousy substitute for gasoline, and it’s nowhere near as green as people think. In fact, making it does more damage to the environment than not making it.

Slowly but surely people are catching on, as grain prices skyrocket, rainforests are destroyed, and carbon is released all in the name of this ethanol bullshit.

From a March 27 article in Time:

But several new studies show the biofuel boom is doing exactly the opposite of what its proponents intended: it’s dramatically accelerating global warming, imperiling the planet in the name of saving it. Corn ethanol, always environmentally suspect, turns out to be environmentally disastrous. Even cellulosic ethanol made from switchgrass, which has been promoted by eco-activists and eco-investors as well as by President Bush as the fuel of the future, looks less green than oil-derived gasoline.

Told you so.

PS, from the same Time story:

The grain it takes to fill an SUV tank with ethanol could feed a person for a year. Harvests are being plucked to fuel our cars instead of ourselves.

and

The lesson behind the math is that on a warming planet, land is an incredibly precious commodity, and every acre used to generate fuel is an acre that can’t be used to generate the food needed to feed us or the carbon storage needed to save us.

Palestinian students protest Israel’s closing of their ’schools,’ (which are linked to Hamas and terrorism).

Muslims upset at being portrayed as violent crazies by the movie “Fitna” have threatened the lives of the staff of LiveLeak, a video-sharing site, forcing the site to remove the film. (It’s still available on YouTube.)

Following threats to our staff of a very serious nature, and some ill informed reports from certain corners of the British media that could directly lead to the harm of some of our staff, Liveleak.com has been left with no other choice but to remove Fitna from our servers.

LiveLeak does still offer video from Islamic extremists, including, for example, “Martyrdom volunteers attack apostates & western interests in Algeria” (Reads the description:”Near simultaneous martyrdom attacks upon the Prime Minsters building, Interpol, & a security force building claimed 26 dead & 160 wounded. Al Qaeda in the Maghreb is a growing force.”)

And then there’s “Qaida al-Jihad: The Radwaniyah Martyrdom” — one of those videos a suicide bomber made before killing himself.

We wouldn’t want people to think that Muslims are, you know, violent and crazy.

I am downloading the latest OpenOffice using Bittorrent. Glad I don’t have Comcast now.

My job for Computerworld is to write keywords and determine subjects for blog posts.

It’s usually easy, until I come across one that begins like this:

The world’s first ACP tool for LTE Capesso™ LTE is the world’s first automatic cell planning tool for LTE.

Then I gotta start looking things up. :)

I’ve been dealing with National City Mortgage, and the level of utter stupidity over there astounds me. I gotta share this.

We own a house in Roanoke. We moved to Richmond. Ergo, until we sell the house we’re paying mortgage and rent. It’s possible now, but it’s a stretch for us until my freelancing gets off the ground in a bigger way. (We’re looking at renting out the house as one option.)

OK, you’ve got the situation.

I went to the National City Web site and saw a link, “Having trouble paying your mortgage?” Ah, I thought, maybe they have some programs we can use to reduce payments or something.

The site said I had several options, depending on whether I wanted to keep or give up the house. But I had to fill out a form detailing my financial info so they could tell me what might work. (Link goes to PDF of blank form.)

I did this. The form asks for a listing of my income and my expenses, what the house is worth, a copy of the listing agreement with the Realtor, etc. Simple. I awaited a response.

I didn’t get it. Instead, my Realtor called to say that National City had called her saying we were short-selling the house and that they needed to get an appraiser in. (Short selling, which I had never heard of until that call, means that National City will take less than the full amount of the mortgage, but it would leave a bad mark on my credit.)

Huh? I had no intention of “short selling.” I just wanted info. Further, the National City rep said she was looking at an FHA loan for us to help do this short-sell thing.

Huh? Argh!

So I called National City and said, essentially, WTF? And I was told — seriously — that although the form I filled out said it was just an application for financial help, in reality it was starting the short-sell process even though it never said any such thing. (I have screen grabs of the whole process. It’s pretty clear.)

‘Stop this madness!’ I told the National City person (one “Mrs. Beasley”). I don’t want to short sell. I was just curious what options I might have.

Process stopped. Good. Well, no — I was ticked. So that evening I wrote to National City’s ‘elevated’ customer service address and said, basically, WTF? And: Did you apply for an FHA loan in my name?

The next morning, lo and behold, National City calls me back. This person explains that the online form I filled out is routed to the ’short-sell department,’ but no — they weren’t going to short-sell my house. The whole process starts with an appraisal and then they’ll tell me what they can do.

“You asked us to help you sell your house,” she said. Huh? What? I did no such thing! I asked for information about what help I qualify for, period! ARGH!

Well, she said, you told us that you’re selling your house and that you want financial help. Ergo, you obviously want help selling your house.

No no no, a thousand times no! All I want is information. Stop the $#%&@! process.

Process stopped.

Then I get a call from Thea Dodge, the National City rep who spoke to my Realtor. Of course we started the short-sell process, she said. It’s the only option you have.

Blink. Blink.

Then we took a left turn into a cross between the Twilight Zone and Catch-22:

Based on the information I gave them, National City has determined that we cannot afford to make payments on the house (despite the fact that we have and will continue to do so — it’s tight, but very doable).

Are you ready? Because National City thinks we can’t afford to make payments they will not offer us any kind of assistance.

In order to get assistance, we first have to prove that we can make the payments.

Yes, you read that right. ‘We cannot help you until you prove you don’t need help.’

“Isn’t that a bit backwards?” I asked. “Shouldn’t you want to help me because you think I need help?”

And then we come full circle. Or full something. The only way they can, er, are willing help is by doing a short sale. Ergo, based on this, they began the short-sale process.

Can’t I roll, say, two payments into the mortgage — let me skip a couple and make it up later?

“Which payments do you mean?” Ms. Dodge asks.

“April or May?” I suggested; we already made the March payment.

Nope. We can’t set up a repayment plan or a loan modification based on payments we haven’t made yet. Get this: In order to get that assistance, we first have to miss the payments, get the nasty foreclosure letters, take the credit hit, etc.

I can’t say, “I’d like to skip a payment, can you help.” I have to first skip it, then they might help.

So what about that appraiser they wanted to send? The rep I spoke with said that, before they determine what kind of assistance I might qualify for, the house has to be appraised.

Oh, no, said Ms. Dodge. “We only use the appraiser for a short sale.”

“So what she told me was wrong?” I said.

“Yes. I’ll have to let her know about that.”

Does anyone at National City know what they’re doing? Doubtful. At best, they’re all working with different versions of the same playbook, making it impossible for us to figure out what’s correct and what’s not.

Bottom line: We’ll continue doing what we were doing — paying the mortgage every month and either selling or renting the house.

And if the time comes that we want to do something drastic, well, that’s when we pay a visit to these folks.

There’s something… cleansing about doing a full backup.

Could be.

I’m writing these twits

in order to

force off my home page

the long unbroken post

I put up the other day.

All right, so here’s the deal. Do I need to explain that China is the bad guy? Do we have to remind people of Tiananmen Square? Or of what’s happening in Tibet? Or of slave wages? Or… well, you know the deal.

And yet, with the kind of logic only the International Olympic Committee can come up with, China gets to host the games. The IOC’s position is that the Olympic transcends politics, but that’s bull and we all know it. It’s a huge international forum. It’s a sign of prestige for the Chinese, and you can bet they’re going to bilk it for all it’s worth.

Although you probably don’t believe you can make a difference, you can. Prettily easily, in fact. You can send a message to the American companies pouring money into the games. And yes, they will hear it. If even a few dozen people write to them, they’ll know there are a lot more who feel the same way.

Believe me, they aren’t getting mail saying “I’m so glad you’re sponsoring the Olympics.” They hope that their advertising will improve their image, so I say we turn it around. Make it an embarrassment to be a sponsor. When a company promotes itself as “the official whatever of the 2008 Olympics,” let it be a signal to shop somewhere else.

More importantly, let these guys know what you think.

You don’t need to do much. Write a short note and snail-mail it — that’s by far the best way to get results. Contact info is below. That’s it. You don’t to get nasty or even long winded. Here, use this as a starting point (or heck, cut and paste it):

I just wanted you to know that I’m incredibly disappointed that you chose to sponsor the Olympics this year. Thanks for helping to support a tyrannical, repressive government in China. I’ll remember that next time I’m shopping for a ________.

You’ll get a form letter back, and maybe even a coupon. But you’ll have made a point. It’s an even better point if next time you’re shopping for, say, paper for your printer, you go to OfficeMax instead of Staples.

Here’s a list of the major American sponsors of the Beijing Olympics. Lazy? Cool. You can cut and paste this list into a Word doc, print it, then cut out the individual addresses and tape them to an envelope.)

The Coca-Cola Company
P.O. Box 1734
Atlanta, GA 30301

General Electric
General Electric Company (W2E)
3135 Easton Turnpike
Fairfield, CT 06828

Johnson & Johnson
One Johnson & Johnson Plaza
Room WH 2133
New Brunswick, NJ 08933

Lenovo
1009 Think Place
Morrisville, NC 27560

Eastman Kodak Company
343 State St.
Rochester, NY 14650

John Hancock
200 Clarendon Street
Boston, MA 02116

Staples
500 Staples Drive
Framingham, MA 01702

Budweiser
Anheuser-Busch, Inc.
One Busch Place
St. Louis, MO 63118

UPS
Corporate Headquarters
55 Glenlake Parkway, NE
Atlanta, GA 30328

Visa
P.O. Box 8999
San Francisco, CA 94128-8999

Samsung
105 Challenger Rd.
Ridgefield Park, NJ 07660-0511

Panasonic
One Panasonic Way
Secaucus, NJ 07094

McDonald’s
2111 McDonald’s Dr
Oak Brook, IL 60523