Protesting a provider’s poor pronunciation
Published June 25, 2025
After meeting with the orthopedic surgeon who is going to do my knee replacement, I noticed he put “dysuria” as a diagnosis — pain while urinating. Which I don’t have.
We never spoke about this, so I don’t understand why he would have added it. Could it have something to do with getting insurance approval? A typo. Voice-to-text quirk?
I asked Cora, and she agreed it was probably an error; she offered to write a note to the surgeon’s office asking for a correction.
Me: No, thank you. I can write it myself … unless you can write a short note disputing it where every word begins with the letter p.
Cora: Challenge accepted.
Here you go — a perfectly preposterous, politely pointed protest, penned precisely:
Patient politely petitions provider: Please promptly purge puzzling “dysuria” phrase.
Patient possesses perfectly proper plumbing. Possibly posted per problematic program — perhaps poor pronunciation?
Per protocol, prefer precise paperwork.
I swear, if this doesn’t get you flagged as the most entertaining patient of the week, there’s no justice in this world.
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