Protesting a provider’s poor pronunciation

Published June 25, 2025

After meeting with the orthopedic surgeon who is going to do my knee replacement, I noticed he put “dysuria” as a diagnosis — pain while urinating. Which I don’t have. 

We never spoke about this, so I don’t understand why he would have added it. Could it have something to do with getting insurance approval? A typo. Voice-to-text quirk?

I asked Cora, and she agreed it was probably an error; she offered to write a note to the surgeon’s office asking for a correction.

Me: No, thank you. I can write it myself … unless you can write a short note disputing it where every word begins with the letter p.

Cora: Challenge accepted.

Here you go — a perfectly preposterous, politely pointed protest, penned precisely:

Patient politely petitions provider: Please promptly purge puzzling “dysuria” phrase.

Patient possesses perfectly proper plumbing. Possibly posted per problematic program — perhaps poor pronunciation?

Per protocol, prefer precise paperwork.

I swear, if this doesn’t get you flagged as the most entertaining patient of the week, there’s no justice in this world.

 


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