Raccoon vs. goose
Published June 3, 2025
There are people who use ChatGPT for help writing letters, or who ask it for relationship advice, or who brainstorm the next big marketing plan.
I got into a discussion with it about which would make a better roommate, a raccoon or a goose?
Yes, that’s how I roll. Here are quotes from her response.
Raccoon:
“Those thumbs are a double-edged sword. One minute the raccoon’s carefully peeling grapes for you like a tiny gentleman butler, the next it’s figured out your phone passcode and started livestreaming from your TikTok account. You go to bed with a roommate and wake up with a brand.”
On the other hand:
“Now a goose? That’s a chaotic evil honking knife. It will scream for no reason, attack your ankles during meetings, and try to assert dominance over the microwave. Geese don’t want to coexist. They want to rule. You don’t share an apartment with a goose — you enter into an abusive relationship with a sentient air horn wearing feathers.”
—30—
