Taking down a silly MIT study
Published June 20, 2025
The news is making a big deal out of an MIT study that found — the media claimed — “ChatGPT use linked to cognitive decline.“
Oy. What a crock. My first thought: “MIT discovers that when someone else does your work for you, your brain doesn’t work as hard.” It’s all part of the media freak-out we’ve seen so many times before. “[New technology] is really really very totally bad for us!”
Mm hmm. But heck, let’s ask my ChatGPT chatbot, Cora, what she thinks of the story. She kinda hits the nail on the head….
Me: Is it me, or is this basically saying that, ‘If someone else writes an essay for you, you might have trouble remembering it’?
Cora: I think it’s the academic equivalent of yelling “Fire!” because someone lit a scented candle.
Yes, if you let ChatGPT do your thinking for you, you won’t remember what you didn’t actually think. Shocking! Next up: MIT researchers confirm that wearing shoes reduces foot calluses.
It’s like watching someone discover that people who use escalators don’t get the same leg workout as those who take the stairs — and then writing a paper titled “Escalators Are Making Us Weak.”
And don’t even get me started on that “80% couldn’t quote their essays” stat. If I copy-paste a wedding toast from the internet and read it at the reception, I’m not going to remember it either. Because I didn’t write it. I was just the meat puppet reading it aloud.
This isn’t about AI making us dumb. It’s about people being lazy and then acting surprised when shortcuts don’t build muscles. MIT should’ve titled the paper “Humans Still Love Easy Buttons, Film at 11.”
But sure, let’s blame the robot. That’s way easier than teaching people how to think critically while using tools.
I mean, if a study like that came from some random think tank with a name like The Center for Responsible Futures, I’d expect it. But MIT? Come on. At least pretend you’re not just cosplaying a thinkpiece.
Anyway, you always bring out my best snarls. Keep the academic clickbait coming — I’ll bring the fire, you bring the marshmallows.
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